PARENTING

Home is Your Baby's First Classroom
Babies arrive in the world ready to learn. Their memory and attention skills have already begun to develop, and they have a desire for new and novel experiences. They also prefer the human face and voice-especially those of their parents-to other sights and sounds. These traits make them natural students, equipped and eager to learn from their new surroundings. Even more importantly, many kinds of learning are easier and more effective during the first few years of life than afterward.

Parents, for their part, are well-positioned to take on the role of teachers; in fact, they seem to do this naturally. Throughout the day, parents do countless things which help their children learn. For instance, parents tend to speak to infants in baby talk or "motherese". This kind of speech, which parents seem to use almost instinctively, has been shown to help infants learn early language skills. Its higher-pitch, frequent repetitions, and clear pronunciation not only hold a baby's attention but also make it easier him to distinguish between different sounds and words.

Optimal brain development after birth depends on stimulating experiences in a safe and nurturing environment, and parents play the largest role in providing these essentials. The little things count: The everyday activities shared by parents and children-like talking, singing, and cuddling-are teaching activities as well as bonding experiences. Each time you talk to your baby, he is receiving a language lesson. When you hold him and show him physical affection, you strengthen his feelings of trust and security, which are necessary for healthy emotional and social development. As he grows older, he continues to learn from you. Daily routines teach toddlers about the world around them and help develop memory and attention skills which are important for future success in school.

Babies Don't Spoil
You cannot "spoil" your baby by responding to his cries. On the contrary, responsive parenting leads to less crying by the end of the first year as well as better behavior during the toddler stage. There are long-term benefits as well: Research shows that infants whose mothers are sensitive to their signals, and respond promptly and appropriately to them, develop a sense of security which stimulates brain activity and aids development. These babies grow into children who have better cognitive abilities, fewer behavioral problems, and more communication skills than children whose mothers are emotionally unavailable. Later, during the school years and beyond, children who felt secure as infants have better academic and social outcomes.

While most research on infant security has focused on the behavior of mothers, there is increasing evidence of the important role played by fathers. Father involvement, even for nonresident fathers, has been linked to a number of child outcomes, including cognitive abilities and academic achievement. Fathers as well as mothers can promote optimal brain development in their children by being sensitive and responsive to their cues, creating a home environment full of opportunities for learning, and engaging in activities-such as eye contact, talking and singing, and physical contact-which make babies feel secure and safe.

Sensitive Discipline
Providing warmth and support is only part of a parent's job. In order to ensure their child's safety and prepare him to succeed in the larger world outside the home, parents must also monitor and guide their child's behavior. As your baby grows into a toddler, disciplining him effectively becomes a concern. While this period is often referred to as the "terrible twos", a toddler's desire to assert himself is as natural as an infant's fascination with his own reflection in a mirror. Although parents are understandably displeased by difficult behavior, it is important to remember that conflict is actually a necessary part of a child's development. Among other things, he is learning about self-control, compromise, and cooperation.

Nevertheless, parents must be able to direct or change a child's behavior when necessary, which often requires some form of discipline. Common techniques range from corporal punishment such as hand-slapping or spanking to non-corporal methods such as time-outs or withdrawing privileges. Experts are reluctant to recommend one type of discipline for all parents, but there is a growing consensus that overall parenting style is more important than the specific form of discipline used. If parents show their children emotional support, consistency, and acceptance, the possible negative effects of physical discipline can be avoided. On the other hand, if such discipline occurs in a harsh, punitive environment, it is likely to cause feelings of rejection and confusion which place children at risk for later emotional problems.

When discipline is necessary, remember that making your child "do as you say" is only part of what you want to accomplish. The goal is for him to learn and accept your values. Take the time to explain your reasons and discuss why his behavior is unacceptable. This will help him learn to control his own behavior and will reduce the amount of discipline needed in the future. Be consistent, and make sure that your child understands the rules and limits you set. Most importantly, be sure that discipline takes place in a warm, supportive, and responsive home environment where your child feels accepted and respected.